Ah forgiveness....

In my group tonight we're starting the forgiveness chapter. So while I was preparing for that I came across this poem. Where was this a few years ago when I really needed it?

You say I must forgive

It's a Biblical Command-

So let's just take a moment

To fully understand

What forgiveness truly means,

And what it really doesn't

What the truth about it is,

And what it actually isn't

Forgiveness doesn't mean

I'm forced to hide the truth

Of my childlike innocence

Stolen in my youth.

Forgiveness isn't letting go

Because you think I should-

And it's not forgetting...

Because you hoped I would.

Forgiveness doesn't mean

I forget about my pain

So you won't have to look at yours...

And you'll be comfortable again!

Forgiveness doesn't mean

I deny what I feel...

That because you choose denial,

My feelings are not real!

Forgiveness does not mean

You've no consequence to pay...

What you did changed my life

In a most dramatic way!

Forgiveness doesn't mean

Your responsibility

Can be ignored by you

And forced to lie with me!

I've got a full-time job

Restoring peace within

From the chaos I've endured

Resulting from your sin.

Forgiveness does not mean

I have to hide what's true

To feed your denial

And keep protecting you.

The process of healing

Means I see...I feel...I talk-

The freer I become

The stronger I can walk!

Yay spring.....

I just arrived home from an appointment to do my usual task that needs to be done every Tuesday when I get home...fish the garbage can out of our ditch. Not sure why the garbage man can't just set the garbage can back on the ground where I leave it. Instead he seems to insist on throwing it in the ditch. I used to blame the wind. However on days where there's no wind this still occurs. Anyways on my climb out of the ditch I noticed something very exciting!

You got it....dandelions! I'm not exactly sure why I'm excited about dandelions this year. I don't remember ever feeling this excitement before. However this is our first spring in our house and I find it fun to see all the different things changing with the season. I've got stuff popping out of my flowerbeds and I don't even know what they are. God bless my aunt for planting them when she used to live here. It's become a fun thing for me to watch in anticipation.

Hope everyone is enjoying the beautiful weather!

Labour intensive....

Well since our car has been written off we've been running around like crazy, making lots of phone calls, doing lots of research, and talking and processing with each other consistently. However we have finally come to a decision!!! YAY!!!

Tomorrow we will be picking up our new vehicle. Yes for all of you wondering what we were going to do, of course we stuck with Saturn. This will now be my third lease with them. Jason jokes that they slipped me a pill in the beginning and now I'll never leave. However we did look at other options but just didn't feel right about any of them. It's hard to leave a company that has always treated us well so we decided not to.

We've moved up in the Saturn world though.

I went from this (which I had when I met Jason)....

to this (the accident victim)......

to now (drum roll)......

We are so excited that we are now able to venture into the SUV world. We liked the Saturn one because not only did it fit in our budget but it also has only a 4 cylinder engine with the same gas mileage that our previous car (the Saturn Ion) had. So we thought why not. We were actually even having some kid discussions while making our decision. How scary is that?

Friends.....

I've had a lot of issues with girls in my life, like many women. Just comes with the insecurities that flooded my mind when I was a kid. I'm not too sensitive so I'm able to just let some of these things rumble around in my mind quite often without anyone knowing (not saying this a good thing by any means). However one that has been a constant sting for a long time was never feeling like I had a true friend that got me. I've always had girl relationships where I needed them or they needed me and these relationships would only last for seasons. Never had I been involved in a friend relationship with another female where it was equal give and take. That is, until recently. How beautiful it is that God has finally blessed me with another joyous gift to fill the longing of my heart. It's weird but wonderful to finally be able to say my best friend and know it's true and that they feel the same way.

I read a quote today that got me processing this a little more. I found myself thanking God for her today and I wanted to share this quote with you as well. I finally let my wall down, and although it's hard work at times and it seems easier to walk away, we keep pushing through and I'm so thankful for that!

"When you don't feel that you have to be perfect to be accepted, when you are given the freedom to be yourself in any situation, when you can shake your heart without the risk of betrayal, when being together is more important than what you do.....that is when you're in the presence of a true friend"

Grrrr car accident.....

Okay sorry it's taken a week for me to post about this. However the first few days I was sore, then I got sick and now I just had no excuses so here it comes.

Last Saturday night (April 7) we were leaving Mandi and Greg's house from a night of fun with friends. The storm had already started but wasn't bad enough yet that we couldn't get home. So we got in the car. I'm in the backseat and Jason's driving. Now why am I in the backseat? Because we had this ongoing security light issue thing with the car and the light finally went off on Saturday and the reason for that is because the passenger door finally locked down so we couldn't get it open. We weren't too impressed however now that I'm looking back pretty sure God did that for a reason.

As we're backing out of Mandi and Greg's driveway I decide to move the pasta (leftover from the restaurant we went to) that is at my feet just in case we get in an accident because I didn't want pasta all over my leg (scary huh). I then dial our number to check the messages on the cell phone. I'm listening to the first message with my head down and hear my husband yell "OH SHIT". I had enough time to look up, see a car, hear a defining bang, and then there was white and smoke. It was crazy. We immediately realized that the person driving went through a stop sign. I'm talking didn't even stop, slow down, swerve or anything. The first thing Jason says to me is "did I go through a stop sign, check". To which I said no having driven that road a million times. I found the cell phone in the front seat and we jumped out of the car a little panicked at this point because we think it's on fire. So this is for those of you who have never been in an accident where airbags come out before. When those suckers come out they fill your whole car up with smoke and it reeks. So we jump out of the car and who do I call first? Greg, shaking and crying of course. Jason's first thing that he did when he jumped out of the car was said (in a very stern voice) "Did you not see the stop sign buddy or what"? Then we heard this kid start bawling. The poor guy was only 16 and his parents had just left for Mexico that morning. So needless to say our tone and way we handled things after that changed. Jason even had to explain to him how insurance worked because he kept asking us how much he owed us. We've prayed a lot for that little guy. Can you imagine how stressful and horrible that would be as a new driver and your parents aren't even home to help you deal with it all? Anyways, the cops came and of course he was 100% at fault. We were out in the snow for about an hour (hence why I think I'm sick now), however Mandi and Greg were there very quickly after the accident and we were able to stay at their house for the night and we were very thankful for that! Also Greg being the techie he is brought his camera so I've got pics.

This is exactly where the cars ended up (our car is the one that you can see the taillights on). We were going straight on the road and he went through the stop sign. So when we hit him he spun around and landed where he did.

This one shows where he came from. The tires tracks you see in the snow that have the footprints beside them (the straight ones) are his tracks. As I said, no stopping swerving or anything.

Jason had tried to steer the car to the left hoping he'd miss the car but we didn't. Does this look like a car that has 12 000 dollars worth or damage? We didn't think so either. The inside was a mess though too on the passenger side. Plus the airbags cost a lot to replace.

So that was our fun night (ha ha). We're so thankful that everyone is okay. We were a little stiff but we're getting better for sure. We're also very thankful that he didn't have a passenger in his car because we made a rainbow shaped imprint on the side on his car and that would not have been good for the passenger at all.

Now we have the joys (again ha ha) of shopping for a new car. Our poor Saturn has been written off. It was a lease though so we get to just walk away. Now we're trying to decide on what to pick next. We've got it narrowed down to two vehicles but are stuck there. We need to make a decision soon though because our rental is due back on Thursday. I'll keep you all posted on what happens. Thanks for caring and for your concerns!

On hold again...

Hello my blog readers....I'm really sick (probably from standing in a snowstorm for an hour waiting for the police to come the other night) so I won't be posting on this thing again until next week. Just thought I'd let you all know so that you don't have to keep checking back. I'll be posting accident details soon I promise :)

Yummy, yummy, yummy.....

I was just sitting here eating my lunch and realizing that I haven't posted anything yet this week. We've been really busy this week because we got in a car accident on Saturday night. We're okay though and I'll be posting more details on that later so stay tuned. So my lunch is what inspired me to post because of this yummy stew that I'm eating.

My best friend is a vegetarian, which is very fun for me and very scary for Jason :) So she passed this recipe on to me. It's so yummy! Don't let the peanut butter scare you like it did me. It doesn't even taste like peanut butter. It's healthy, it's cheap to make and it's from Africa. What more could you want! For those of you that try it let me know what you think.

Rockin Moroccan Stew

Serves: 6

Ingredients:
2 tsp olive oil
1 cup chopped onions
1/2 cup each diced celery and chipped green bell pepper
1 clove garlic, minced
3 cups vegetable broth
3 cups peeled, cubed sweet potatoes
1 can (14-½ oz) tomatoes, drained and cut up
1 can (15 oz) chickpeas, drained and rinsed
1 tbsp lemon juice
2 tsp grated ginger root
1 tsp ground cumin
1 tsp curry powder
1 tsp ground coriander
1 tsp chili powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp black pepper
1/4 cup raisins
2 tbsp light peanut butter

Heat olive oil in a large, non-stick saucepan over medium-high heat. Add onions, celery, green pepper, and garlic. Cook and stir until vegetables begin to soften, about 3 minutes. Add all remaining ingredients, except raisins and peanut butter. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low and simmer, covered, for 20 minutes (or until sweet potatoes are cooked). Stir in raisins and peanut butter. Mix well. Simmer for 5 more minutes. Serve hot.

PS- Debie this is the recipe that Scott had on Friday and loved. He wanted me to pass the recipe on to you.

The true meaning.....

I had a very frustrating day yesterday with a few things that happened. The only fun thing was going to church of course and one of my favorite friend's birthday's was yesterday so we went out to eat...YUM! Anyways, Jason is still in Montreal and has been there for the past two weeks (he comes home tonight though...YEAH). So I couldn't wait to get home and just blurt out everything that happened today to him in a way that would not sound pretty and proper. I appreciate him so much because he never judges me and just accepts me as I am even if I shouldn't say some of the things I do in that moment. So I probably spent the first 20 minutes or so of the conversation recounting my whole days worth of events and he just listened. It was so what I needed. Then after I was finished he said "I'm really sorry Erin and I hope tomorrow goes better for you. Something really cool happened to me tonight that I'd like to tell you about". Bless this husband of mine. Something really amazing did happen to him last night and he held that in and let me blurt out all my nastiness. So I thought okay fine tell me.

"I was at the food court in the mall [in Montreal] where I bought two pieces of pizza for supper and a pop. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed a homeless man walking around to people asking them if he could have the ice left in their cups. I noticed people getting frustrated with him, treating him badly, and women grabbing their purses and pulling them near themselves when he walked up to them. Erin it broke my heart. I was beginning to realize that I did not need my second piece of pizza because I was already full from the first. So I picked up this piece of pizza and the rest of my pop and walked over to the man and handed it to him. Erin I cannot even begin to express how thankful he was. He just kept saying "Merci, Merci" over and over again. You would have thought that I just handed him a million dollars. The worse thing was that people were looking at me like I was crazy".

So at this point I'm filling up with tears. How cool is it that Jesus used my husband in that moment to show a man that he is loved and his needs will be met. How cool is that Jesus also used my husband in this moment on the phone to remind me that my day wasn't that bad after all. There is so much that I take for granted in this life and in this moment I was silenced. I started to think how I would have reacted in that moment and wondered if I would have done the same or if I would have grabbed my purse and walked away. How would you have reacted?

I thought I'd leave you with this beautiful story for this wonderful weekend. The true meaning of Easter is Jesus who died and rose again for us. He took all of our pain, shame, guilt, and sin and took it as his own suffering on the cross in order to rise again and be with the Father in heaven, where he continues to nurture us, love us, feed us and use us in moments like this. My favorite scripture that always brings tears to my eyes no matter how often I read it is Romans 8: 28-39. I'm not a big King James fan, however I love this passage in the King James. May you have a wonderful weekend with friends and family and a reflective time on the true meaning of this glorious holiday!


"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren. Moreover whom he did predestinate, them he also called: and whom he called, them he also justified: and whom he justified, them he also glorified.

What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us? He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things? Who shall lay any thing to the charge of God's elect? It is God that justifieth.
Who is he that condemneth? It is Christ that died, yea rather, that is risen again, who is even at the right hand of God, who also maketh intercession for us.

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter. Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.

For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

My kind of humor....

Ha ha ha couldn't help myself, perhaps it's because I used to work in a paint department when I was in university! HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE!!!

Last few days.....

Wow I feel like the trip posting is never going to end. So the next day we drove around Phoenix for a bit and found the Ten Thousand Villages store there. It was awesome to be able to go to another Villages store. I bought some different stuff that I can't even order here. The States has so many more people therefore their sales are way better in the US. So because of that they have so much more product than we do. Oh the jewellery! It was a great experience!

After taking my time in the store to look at everything we headed back to Tucson. I do not have any more pictures of any of this because at this point I'm pictured out :) Plus it's the same old desert scene that I've already been posting.

We spent our last 3 days in the hot, dry desert. It was anywhere from 35-38 there. Jason and my dad went golfing two mornings in a row. They would have to get up really early because it gets so hot by lunch time (and this was only March...I can't imagine living there in the summer). However it was great because then they would come back and go swimming. Jason was loving it for sure. At this point though we were both ready to come home. We were really missing our cats, yes Jason too!

The second to last night we were in Tucson we went to "Trail Dust Town", it was kind of like an Old Tucson, for the night. It was cool. They had all these neat shops (where I purchased my first article of baby clothing.....uh oh.....couldn't help myself....it was a onesy with cactus' and stuff all over it was so cute......Jason was silenced for a bit after that...ha ha ha), we went to an old fashioned steakhouse there where you're not allowed to wear a tie. If you have a tie on they make a big deal out of it, cut it off and hang it to the ceiling. Then to end the night we went to a great stunt show type thing that took place in the Wild West.

Our last night in Tucson we did what I had been wanting to do as soon as I placed my feet in the desert. We went out for authentic Mexican. OH yum yum yum. It was so great. Then we went out for ice cream at Coldstone Creamery. It's this yummy place that is very neat and original and I wish we had on here. We then went back to the motor home to pack and set our alarms for 4:00 am so that we could be at the airport for 5:00. That was a fun morning :)

Well thanks everyone for listening to me ramble about my trip. I've heard from a lot of you that you enjoyed the pictures and thanks for all the comments. Now back to the serious and/or crazy stuff I guess!

Day 12 and 13....

So we left Vegas the next day around noon and headed into the mountains. It was a beautiful drive. However at this point I'm feeling like I've seen enough desert! We were on our way to the Hoover Dam and the Grand Canyon. After a couple of hours of driving we came to this,

We were so excited to see water, it had been so long!!! This is the Colorado River that comes from the mountains in Colorado. This is where all those places in the desert get their water supply from because there is no water. Way back in the 1920's they built a dam to hold back this mighty river. It was nuts the amount of work that must have went into making the dam, especially when you considered when it was done. They said that the cement in the bottom of the dam still has not completely cured. Isn't that crazy? So here is a picture of the Hoover Dam. I wasn't able to get the full size of it with the camera because it's so deep.

In case you can't tell from the picture you drive over it. It's part of the main road. However since 911 transport trucks are not allowed on it anymore. I will admit that it was a little scary going across this thing that the cement has not yet cured in in our big motor home.

If you look to the left side of the dam you see this. As you may be able to tell as well due to the different color on the rock the water level was a little low that time of year because the major melt from the mountains had not yet occurred. So left side of the dam then the dam and then this is the other side

Quite the difference and a lot lower then the previous picture huh? It was really neat to see. So we pulled over and ate lunch there. It was beautiful.

We then continued onward and upward through the desert and rock. Finally we got high enough that there were trees again...YEAH! We stayed in a small town that night (in a MacDonald's parking lot this time) about an hour away from the Grand Canyon.

The next morning it was off to the Grand Canyon. We stopped at an Imax theatre near the Grand Canyon to watch a movie about the Grand Canyon. It was very interesting. I remember doing the same thing when we went to Niagara Falls. It allows you to see things much more in depth then when you're just standing on the sides of these things. So if you ever go to the Grand Canyon or Niagara Falls please watch the Imax movies :) Anyways without further ado here are the Grand Canyon pictures. I don't think there's any need of explanation and I certainly don't feel like the pictures do it justice. It was so beautiful and amazing!

The last picture is with extreme zoom and it's the Colorado River again way at the bottom of the canyon. You could barely see it when you're standing at the top. Now the famous question, did we go to the bottom? NO! There was no way I was hiking down to the bottom of this thing. I'm not that adventurous nor athletic. You could also rent a donkey, however I would never do that because of my allergies and because I'd feel bad for the poor thing. Lastly you can pay 200 dollars and take a helicopter over the canyon. Well let's just say that we've only got a few days left in our 16 day adventure and the funds are running a little low so there was no way we would have been able to afford that.

After the Grand Canyon we headed back down the mountains for a few hours until we made it to Phoenix, where we spent the night.

Day 10 and 11.....

After leaving Hollywood we drove about an hour to get on the other side of LA to sleep in my dad's favorite spot...a Wal-Mart parking lot. So frustrating but not everyone believes in what I do so I always loose that battle :)

The next morning we drove to Las Vegas. We got there mid afternoon. We drove and drove through nothing for a long time. It was beautiful mountainous desert. However it was still nothing. Then all of the sudden in the middle of no where on the highway you come to this huge place with lots of traffic and people. Las Vegas makes no sense to me. However I won't go into how much I didn't enjoy my time there. It just felt icky is all I'll say. However Jason and I did go to a couple of casinos and it was neat to see. They certainly go all out. The following is "the strip" during the day (notice the green light and all the break lights...it's like this all the time).

The buildings are much more impressive at night. as you can see in the following 2 pictures.

This is New York, New York. This casino was crazy. I've never been to NYC but it felt like I was there for a few minutes. This skyline shot is the actual casino. When you're inside they have it all set up like you're in NYC as well. They even had sky painted on the ceiling. WOW! Unfortunately you're not allowed to take pictures on the inside of the casinos.

This casino was massive. We were really impressed with it as well. It's called the MGM Grand. They have lions in captivity in there. It was crazy.

So we spent Friday night looking at some of these different buildings. Then Saturday morning we were off to the golf course. Gotta love the golf courses in the middle of the desert, it's so weird to see green. It looks so fake because everything is so dead there.

Then that evening we went to see Rascal Flatts!!!! I'm not a big country fan but I certainly wanted to see the Rascal Flatts play when I heard that they were going to be in Vegas when we were. For those of you who aren't sure who they are they have hits like "What Hurts the Most" and "God Blessed the Borken Road". It was expensive but so worth it. We loved the show! I had a blast. That was a definite Vegas positive for me. Before Rascal Flatts we ate at the casino they were playing at, Mandalay Bay. This casino was impressive as well. My father treated us to dinner there. It was a 30 dollar buffet and it was worth every dollar. Jason ate so much shellfish and bloody meat that I was having a hard time sitting beside him. I was enjoying all the salads, Indian and Chinese food, oh and of course the desserts. It was the best buffet ever. We would have never been able to stuff that much meat down Jason's throat for that price at any other place.

Well I think that's about all I'd like to say about Vegas. Next stop will be the Hoover Dam and the Grand Canyon!

(Grrrrr for some reason the paragraphs aren't breaking up the way I want them to!)