My story.....
Some of you may know that this year, well last year in October, I decided to co-lead a Christian support group on sexual abuse. I had taken part in two support groups previous years. However I felt the push to now jump into this fun area of my past (do note the sarcasm please). Those of you that know me also know that I'm usually open and honest about my past and where I'm at with that. This though I must say has been quite tough on many days. There are so many things in that workbook that still shock me when I read them. Or on the even better days (again sarcasm) make me realize "oh crap another experience that falls under this umbrella of sexual abuse". I'm glad that God pushed me to do this because the healing I've received from this group is amazing. I had no idea how much of who I am today was distorted because of the sexual abuse.
We are now at the time of year in our group when it is time for each of the participants to share their story. So it's my turn this week. I just spent all morning recalling the events of my past of trying to write them down without too much detail so that I don't trigger things in others but enough that people understand. Trust me I did not want to get out of bed this morning knowing that this was going to be the start of my day. However now that it's done it feels good to realize that the long list of people that I just wrote about have all been forgiven. I have successfully forgiven all of those who took advantage of my childhood innocence. How great is that? The only way that this was possible of course was with God's help. So this morning I just find myself in awe of Him. I only started my journey with Him four years ago but the amount I've grown in those four years is amazing!
(if any of you ever want to talk to me or ask me questions about any of this I'm totally okay with that, I feel like I've been given the opportunity through my healing to help others with my experiences in life)
posted by Erin @ 10:06 AM
6 Comments:
Preparing your story can be a really intense experience. I'm glad that you've had a positive experience this year and feel connected to God at the end of that process.
I've always loved that picture you chose. To me, it perfectly conveys all that stuff about hurting and healing and hope.
Thanks for being open with your story!
Hi Mel,
You're right writing your story can be hard but I find it's getting easier year after year. I'll let you know how I make out actually telling it though, that's the really tough part for me. "I'm sorry Erin but I can't understand what you're saying because you're crying so hard". Ahhhh can't wait :)
I love that picture too! Jason actually has started drawing again (YEAH) and drew a picture with charcoal just like this but much better. Maybe he'll let me scan it and post it some day.
Hey Erin,
Debie here. Just wanted to rejoice in your God-process with you! I am really proud of you for taking on the hard, tough stuff in your life. You are a beautiful example of the love from God that we receive. You so definately rock!!
I am not ashamed to say that I too am part of that group. Looking forward to hearing your story. I am sure it will give me more insight as to who you are and what you are healing from. If you ever need a little more processing than the group let me know. You can't freak me out. I don't freak easily. Ha. Ha. It is cool how open you are. We will all be symbolically holding your hand through it all when you tell your story.
Susan (:
Hello ladies,
Thanks so much for the compliments and support! It's good to be reminded that dealing with all of this stuff is smart. Sometimes I often think...."what am I doing? I don't want to go there". However I always do "go there" and God always rewards me for that!
This service that you perform is not only supplying the needs of God's people but is also overflowing in many expressions of thanks to God. Because of the service by which you have proved yourself, people will praise God for the obedience that accompanies your confession of the gospel of Christ, and for your generosity in sharing with them and with everyone else. And in their prayers for you their hearts will go out to you, because of the surpassing grace God has given you.
2 Corinthians 9:12-14 NIV
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